Black Women Dating - By Sexy Profiles

Question: I read black women dating books and white women dating books..................and this is what i have learned.?

(Posted by: Honest on 2010-01-15 12:18:57)

For fun since I decided to stay single forever (24 and virgin by the way) and yes am black. I LOVE to read a lot that its deadly, but I noticed something............and if you want to read about 20 dating books for black women, and read 20 dating books that are for white women (clearly) As I type I will continue to do so....reading is better then food, sex, whatever you want to beat it with. WHAT I LEARNED: In white women books they tell then about loving themselves (it has a touch of Oprah) and don't settle for LESS and your worth it ect. they even have a book made by two older white women about dating well, men with money so if you end up SINGLE you and your children will be well off. These books eiher hint or tell thenm to go for a guy with goals and who is educated. OFF TOPIC: I have white female friends now who plan on marrying rich men, they date men who are middle class, but refuse to go lower. My IRAN pal says that she will never date a man with no college education EVER. She doesn't care if she doesn't have one, she says a man needs to be a man...........and she is only 18. Other races of women (non- black) are more likely to marry middle/ upper class men....their books or upbringing? In black women dating books same thing....love yourself (a touch of Oprah as well) BUT in all of them they either hint or tell us not to be picky and that your husband could be the mailman. I have never seen this in white dating books. A biracial women who goes as black became a millionaire off of her hard work.............but she too wrote a dating book telling us she wanted a brotha and black women like her need to look for a good man and that he could be working hard at Mc Donalds.....not joking. Why are our books so different? Do we have low standards as a whole? Even asian women have high standards, like I read about a asian guy saying that asian women will not marry them unless they are college educated and working. These women are not gold diggers, there smart in my opinion......look at when they date out, in the media. But why do our books tell us one thing and not the same as white women? Black women have the highest rate of education, the worry is black men. lol no am black. nuke572....you have a great point....didn't think of that. zg123....you got the whole idea!!! Am upset by these books and as a whole black women lower their standards to stay within their race........don't get that. Jaybee thank you for your answer and thats interesting and I agree rich men should go for educated women who have stuff. Reddas.....you impress me. lol blonde

Posted by: Marc on 2010-01-15, 12:24:20

Well It makes sense since the most desired women should have the highest standards and the least desired should have the lowest.

Posted by: Justbein honest on 2010-01-15, 12:26:52

Maybe African American women don't value higher education as much as whites or asians. Maybe higher education is not valued in AA culture as a whole. One thing is there are significantly less AA by percentage with higher education the whites or asians and probly hispanics as well. Therefore less options. I'm white so my knowledge on the matter is bias.

Posted by: Liar on 2010-01-15, 12:27:39

Because half of us are shallow and the other half isn't.

Posted by: Death Always Has the Last Word on 2010-01-15, 12:28:10

Rubbish take all those books in the Toilet! You now have months of supply of toilet Paper ! Women are all different! By the way you are not Black just a Troll

Posted by: zg123 on 2010-01-15, 12:29:51

I've never read a dating/ relationship book, but I have seen different shows dealing with dating & relationships and they all generally tell women not to be so picky- all races of women. This is complete bull because everyone has their preferences in terms of who they want to date & why. I actually think black women (I'm black) are not picky enough when it comes to finding a mate. I think this is mostly because black women are not open minded on dating outside of their race, and that so many black men are going outside their race.

Posted by: nuke572 on 2010-01-15, 12:30:13

Its wrong and I completely disagree with it. Educated Black women should not have to settle for a man working at McDonalds. However, I think the difference exists purely because of statistics. I guess its easier to find a college educated White or Asian man than it is to find a college educated Black man. If your primary goal is to find man, those books are saying your chances of finding this well accomplished Black man are not that high so stop limiting yourself. Again I disagree. I'd rather be single forever than marry a man that doesn't meet my standards.

Posted by: JayBee on 2010-01-15, 12:30:55

Interesting! I think mate selection is evolutionary. Wouldn't it make more sense to select a partner that will provide for you, and the family? When moving up the ladder of life, one must continuously look up, not down. If you are a well educated woman, chances are, you will marry someone who is well educated too. If you are middle-class, you want to marry someone who is hard working and share the same values as you do... If you are a lawyer and marry someone that works in McDonald's, obviously the power dynamics in the relationship will be unbalanced and most likely, it will create problems in the future. Rich men marry "poorer " woman all the time, but in this day in age, a lot of wealthy men are going for ladies who are college educated and professional... I think these rich men want to get away from the gold diggers... Good question though!

Posted by: Billy Jean (who caused a scene) on 2010-01-15, 12:31:31

Read books that are more intellectual and you will have a better understanding of issues relating to Black women. The Cornel West Reader will give you some insight. Another,perhaps better, example would be books by Angela Davis.

Posted by: Jypcee 5000 on 2010-01-15, 12:32:24

It's not a racial thing...it's an author that has no clue writing relationship books. If you want real relationship advice...wait for it...read the bible Song of Solomon, it will change your whole perspective on relationships...Good Luck

Posted by: Opi on 2010-01-15, 12:34:13

It's the Black women who write these books mentality. I think since they were little they were always made to believe that they should settle for anything that comes their way, even if it's not good. The black people may have been drilled into thinking that only the white people deserve the good stuff(I know a lot of people who think this way), which is just bullshit. As for me, I ain't settling for any man beneath me or not good enough

Posted by: Reddas on 2010-01-15, 12:34:30

I'm a black college student but... I get what your saying but I tend to dismiss other people love advice. I'm a 19 year old virgin, will not rest with someone less then me. I need someone with the same standards, someone who I can trust and strong like my mother..... I don't care if she poor or rich.

Posted by: soulflower on 2010-01-15, 12:36:41

This is a similar discussion to one pertaining to feminism versus womanism....The books in question and really, the philosophy most traditional Black women have toward life is including the realities of our situation and the rights of Black men and the needs of the Black family... You make a point. But, in the context of what I said above, I think the Black dating books are taking into account the economic realities of our race and encouraging Black women to still continue dating and producing children, even though it may not be with the level of resources as Whites. IMO, the idea of White collar Black women dating Blue collar Black men is a good one...with stipulations....if the person in question is on the path to a better life and has the same interests and such, then yes it is okay. Not only Black women have dated men on a lower economic level....I can even give you famous examples...Senator John Kerry is married to a woman who was previously married to a billionaire...Senator John McCain's current wife is from a wealthier family than his own...deceased former President Lyndon Baines Johnson was from a lower economic station than "Ladybird " Johnson....Try to remember that Bill Cosby had much less than his wife Camille... As long as the man in question is attempting to "do better " or keep doing okay, then it should be fine. Now if a woman who is a doctor goes out with a man working in McDonald's and he doesn't enjoy the same interests and he never wants to try to be an owner of a McDonald's or the manager, at least then maybe the doctor might want to reconsider. Some people marry, though, strictly for love and some women are not concerned with how much money a man has any more than a man is.... By the way, I want to advise you not to read the types of dating books that have a "girlfriend " tone to them...these books could be authored by Whites or Blacks....they are full of anecdotes and not advice based on psychology or real results. Some of the best books I can recommend are the Mars, Venus books by John Gray...especially the first one and Mars and Venus on a Date. Another book I recommend constantly is False Love, which in my opinion should be textbook reading for all people 17 and over. Good luck.

Posted by: ALLAN D (the real one) on 2010-01-15, 12:43:25

You are mistaken. Those gold-diggers exist in every race. And I condemn those "advice " given by those women that say that a woman must pick a man for his wealth, because this is FAKE LOVE

Posted by: Blonde on 2010-01-15, 12:52:09

Whats wrong with dating the mail man? thats a union job!